Saturday, June 12, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Reasons for Naming your Baby
The following are reasons why you might consider naming your lovely baby.
Reasons for Naming your Baby
- A name is something special that you can gift to your baby. As parents, your natural instinct is to give to your child and if feels great when you can grant a beautiful name to your baby.
- Everybody deserves a name. It doesn't matter how long ago your miscarriage was- if it feels right, give your baby a name that you love.
- It helps others understand that a life has been lost and that there has indeed been a death in the family, that something very significant has taken place.
- It facilitates communication about the miscarriage. Many people are uncomfortable mentioning miscarriage. Having a name for your baby allows them to refer to him or her just as they would other loved ones.
- It helps siblings to understand what has happened. The process of naming creates a space for siblings to ask questions and participate. They also learn that it is ok to talk about loss and that there is no need to keep emotions bottled up...a practice that will support them through their lives.
- It gives your baby a place in the family. Your baby is part of the family and always will be. Giving him or her a name honors that. This process supports you all to in coming to terms with this sad loss in a simple, nourishing way.
- Naming baby helps in the grieving process. 'Miscarriage' sounds like a clinical error of some sort. The word hides the significance of the experience. Referring to baby by name brings home the reality of what has happened and allows you to be gentler on yourselves at this time of loss.
Why do we need to have a name ?
You have had a miscarriage. But your baby isn't a miscarriage. Your baby is a member of your family. It has been said that every life has value and every life makes a contribution to the world and a name gives truth to that. Everyone deserves a name because every life is valuable, every life deserves recognition.
The experience of knowing you are pregnant with child changes you. Giving name to that which was a catalyst of change and transformation in your life can help to identify the meaning and blessings you received by knowing your little one for however amount of time you had with them. A name is beneficial in helping to move through the many waves of emotions and recognize your experience for what it is.
Anybody who has experienced miscarriage knows that it matters. But we also know from Family Constellations Therapy, for example, that unacknowledged miscarriages can come to be represented by other children in the family. It is as if siblings are left to carry the burden of unexpressed grief. There was also a study by a student at Yale University, that couples who named there miscarried children increased their probability of having a healthy pregnancy the next time around. Perhaps Without a reflection and remembrance we somehow re-create a similar experience.